Part III of Fascinating Facts #51-68

51-  I know how to sail a small craft sailboat.

52-  My father was a police captain officer for a zillion years, and so was my brother.  They’re both currently retired from the force.

53-  I’m a magazine junkie.  But I never really get a chance to read them.  I do my reading in bed at night and I’m always in the middle of a novel.

54-  I don’t like puzzles.  Of any kind.

55-  I never saw Forest Gump.

56- I love receiving packages in the mail.  But I’m sure everyone does.

57-  My twins’ doctors usually ask me to call them by their first names, probably because we’re around the same age, or I’m older.  But I just can’t do it.

58-  I was born and raised 10 minutes outside of New York City.  I adore Manhattan!  Now I’m an hour away, I miss the easy access.

59-  Junk mail makes me insane.  My blood boils and I break out in a sweat with a tingling at the back of my neck when I open my mailbox and see those damned crap coupon flyers and other crap in there.  What’s worse, my mailbox is in an awkward place so oftentimes I drop the mail down into the hedges and it’s a whole thing to get them back out.  Grrrrrr.

60-  One of my favorite things to do is spend the day with my mom shopping in a mall that has a Nordstrom.  Have lunch and shop more.  But now my mom, being in her mid-70’s, runs out of energy after an hour.  I run out of money.

61-  I cringe when I see people walk around my carpet with shoes on.  I think it’s bizarre that people wear shoes in the house.  It just doesn’t make any sort of sense to me to walk around in animal doody, dirtbags’ spit, strangers’ shedded skin cells and then drag it into your home for your kids to put in their mouths.  Or you get it into your hair when you’re exercising and then it lands on your pillowcase when you go to bed- turn over on your tummy, and all that is now *in your* mouth.  I don’t like it one bit.

62-  My favorite vegetable is asparagus.  Second would be brussels’ sprouts.

63-  I don’t have a favorite color.   It all depends on the shade as to which item I will gravitate towards.  I tend to lean towards dark amethyst purples, aqua blues, blueish greens, deep reds, and rich pinks.  I hardly ever choose yellows, though I appreciate pale yellows for decorating purposes.  But for clothing, I almost always go for black.

64-  I love music and have a huge iTunes library as well as hundreds of CDs in my freezer in the basement (freezer is not plugged in).  But never anything in the mainstream top 40.

65-  Dogs.  The best dog ever was my guy Murphy, who was a Brittany and died in 2004 at age 15.  My current dog is a 6 m/o puppy  that’s half Puggle, half Wire Fox Terrier and his name is Gomez.  I’m still learning to love him.  It’s a challenge.

66-  My eyes are extremely sensitive to light.  I prefer to wear sunglasses that are polarized.  I think once you wear these you can never go back to non-polarized.

67-  I was addicted to Afrin nasal spray for about 4 years.  There’s an episode on King of Queens where Carrie’s father slips back into his nasal spray habit junky-style.  That is really how it was for me too:

68-  I’ve loved photography since I was a kid.  I took several classes in college (before digital).   That doesn’t mean I’m any good though.  But I do take photos every single day.

Crap, I have to run, my mom is here to go shopping!  I have to cut this short and finish tonight.  Thanks for reading!

Love Ms. Crabass xoxoxoxoxoxoxo!

Do you find yourself passing notes behind your children’s backs too?

, originally uploaded by TwinTransfusion.

Here’s an example. I had to laugh at my pile of notes I get from my husband about suggestions for family outings…because you know if someone hears “the playground” and you have plans otherwise, you’re going to hear some whining. So this is how we avoid that whining crap.

If you don’t do this, it’s certainly a must-try.

Love Ms. Crabass

Part II of 100 Fascinating Facts #26-50

26-  I refuse to eat krinkle-style potato chips and I don’t understand why they would be crinkled.  I might as well add my few food dislikes here as well.  Celery, basil, spaghetti & lasagna.

27-   I wear contact lenses 99% of the time because I don’t feel comfortable in glasses without the peripheral vision.

28-   I prefer keeping my nails very short at all times.  I prefer that for everyone else too.  Seeing long nails sort of gives me the heebie-jeebies and I’m not sure why.

29-  Although I’m an atheist, I collect Catholic art.  I have approximately 100 Virgin Mary statues anywhere from the small plastic dashboard Marys to large ornamental lawn statues.  I also have a huge box of rosaries.  Please don’t tell me it’s because I’m seeking faith because that is not it.

30-  I have several body parts pierced but haven’t worn jewelry in these places since 2002 when I became pregnant for the first time.   And I’m not interested in wearing any now.  I’m down to just wearing necklaces, perhaps a bracelet.

31-  I love anthropomorphic animals & fruit …it’s just always funny.

32-  I failed basic math in college three times in a row.

33-  I used to dance competitively:  ballet, tap & jazz.  But my biggest love was tap.  I can still tap dance.

34-  On road trips I’ll buy Corn Nuts, Bugels or Andy Capp’s Hot Fries as my drug store/rest stop junk food.  Which, unfortunately  is very rare these days.  (See #35)

35-  I haven’t taken a vacation since 2004.  My twins were still hospitalized so I took a 4-day trip to Florida to see my in-laws.  Had a great time swimming in the Gulf and one of the best night’s sleep in my entire life in a motel in Destin.

36-  I was married once before when I was 21 up until I was 27.  We dated for 3 years before marrying.  It was a friendly-divorce and my ex and I still keep in touch.  He just wasn’t the raising a family, buying a home type-of-guy.  I wasn’t really looking for those things at 21.

37-  I have an extremely irrational fear of spiders and I would do (almost) anything to get over it.  One tiny spider can ruin my entire evening.

38-   I haven’t been able to drink alcohol in years.  I tried drinking a beer here and there but immediately became ill.  I don’t really miss it much especially since I’ve been drinking my greens (see #39)

39-  Every single day for the past 14 months I’ve been drinking copious amounts of dark green leafy vegetables with at least one fruit and a cup of water or milk, plus some sort of seed or nuts.  Not only haven’t I been sick once (um, minus a stomach virus last March) I’ve never felt emotionally better in my adult life.  As per my pen name, Ms. Crabass, I’m normally very irritable.  I couldn’t stand the unpredictability of my moods every day!  Now, I’m a delight to be around, so I hear from my mom and my friends.  Because of the life I live with two chronically ill children, I just couldn’t go on doing with those moods.  Now all I need to do is find time to work-out on a steady basis.

40-  My go-to comfort foods:  1) goat cheese with wheat crackers.  2)  a toasted everything bagel with butter, sprinkled with garlic  granules, then cream cheese.  3)  garlic bagel toasted with lox, cream cheese and thinly-sliced red onion.

41-  I can’t stand seeing people on fast food commercials bite into their food.  I can almost see an invisible string of saliva.

42-  I love watching snow from the INSIDE of my home.  I’m not a winter person in the least.

43-  This is a sad one…I’ve heard the crying screams of mothers who’ve found out their child has died.  I can never get that out of my head.  I’ve also been on the very brink of those cries myself.  I’d been told my son will die, there was nothing more they can do.  He’s still here 8 years later after much begging and pleading.

44-  I’m a night person but I can’t stay up late since having kids.  I wake every morning grumpy for the first 5 minutes even when I go to bed very early.

45-  I’ve never broken a bone.  But once, in 1994 I fractured a rib from a severe case of bronchitis that was exacerbated by smoking too many clove cigarettes.  Really?  Clove cigarettes?  What was I thinking!  It was so Goth.

46-  I love going to airports and I love flying.

47-  I don’t curse (out loud).  I have to be really angry to swear.

48-  My favorite scents are salt air, coconut, patchouli (in candle form), vanilla & coffee.  …oh, and my kids’ heads.

49-  I’m obsessed with perfect eyebrows.  My own are so light blonde that they must be penciled in before I leave the house.  If I don’t pencil them in I look sickly   (yeah, someone at work once told me this).  So I’m fascinated by people who have perfectly plucked brows.   Brows make a face to me.

50-  I love pug noses and freckle-faces.

100 Fascinating Facts About Ms. Crabass: Part I (1-25)

I’m pretending there wasn’t over a month break between my last two posts.  I have been blogging, just not publishing it.

So not that more than 3 people will read this list I’ve written, it’ll be nice to see who might have things in common with me.   Plus I love lists.

1-  I can’t stand the thought or sight of cinnamon-raisin bagels and get annoyed when I see people eat them.  I think they’re just being spiteful.  I even started a Facebook group called People Against Cinnamon Raisin Bagels: Grrr …that has 26 right-on members.

2-  I can whistle really, really loud with my thumb and index fingers. People don’t like it.

3-  I’ve never sang karaoke. I watched it done twice though.

4-  I’m a nap-taker. If it’s possible, I will take the opportunity to nap.

5-  I’m the world’s best parallel parker.  I can squeeze into a spot the same size of my car in one try.

6-  I’m an atheist.  I have a brother who’s atheist as well.  The rest of our family thinks we’ll come around one day.  I haven’t in 4 decades, he hasn’t in 5 decades. Live, and let live.

7-  I LOVE men who sit legs crossed at the knees as opposed to ankle over knee (“like a girl”).  I LOVE it.  It’s one of those things I notice first. Second is their shoes.

8-  I have older parents for my age group.  Growing up, my friends had parents the same age as my oldest brother.

9-  I’m drawn to eccentric/oddball people but even more so to kind people.  But that regular kind person must be funny.

10-  I’m semi-ambidextrous.  I write with my right hand but use my left for any other activity with a need for accuracy such as using scissors or shooting a bow & arrow or a rifle.  Not that I know about the last two.

11-  I love hydrangeas. But I not a great gardener.

12-  I want a real German Black Forest Cuckoo Clock.

13-  I have adult braces on my lower set of teeth right now.  I also had a full set when I was 10.

14-  When I was about 11 my father caught my best friend and me dissecting a sunfish and was furious, I had no idea why.  He said I needed to see a psychiatrist.  I didn’t know what that meant.

15-  I love office supplies and a lot of pens but really have no use for them.

16-  I’m the youngest of 4 children and the only girl.

17-  99% of the time I’m late.  It’s a bad trait that I’ve struggled with for years.

18-  I can’t stand having my belly button touched…even my me.

19-  I could live on sushi every day for breakfast, lunch, and dinner.

20-  I’m very into salt.  Preferably sea salt- it’s saltier and doesn’t have an aftertaste.

21- My favorite snack food is popcorn cooked on the stovetop in my special pot used only for popcorn, although it’s just a regular old sauce pot.

22-  My zodiac sign is Aquarius.  And even though I don’t believe in horoscopes, Aquarians are the most awesome.

23-  In 2005 I broke a tooth on a Wheat Thins cracker.  I left it split in two for two more years.  It was one of two teeth with cavities, and later a root canal.  So another thing about me would be that I have only two cavities.

24-  I have very hyper-extended elbows.  They bend all sorts of directions.  It’s fun at parties and with children.  But then in 1997 I injured my right elbow and now it isn’t nearly as fun as my left.

25-  I live 6 blocks from the Atlantic Ocean.

To be continued…

Love Ms. Crabass

This is how deep my love is…

A very special slide show…I’m not big into these things, especially with sentimental music- but I ended up really liking it with the perfect song.

My 5 year-old couldn’t finish watching it because “…those fun times will never ever happen again, and that’s sad!!!”.  So I explained that’s what cameras are for- capturing these beautiful times to savor later on.

 

Thanks for watching!

 

Love Ms. Crabass

Time suck…

I can’t believe how much time kindergarten would suck from me. What a bad time to try to begin a blog. Add a puppy to the mix and the planning of the twins’ 8th birthday party (in which it rained!), and everything’s pretty much turned upside-down from my *already* upside-down life.
Good thing is I had some time spurts to jot down some ideas for posts I’ve been wanting to do. I haven’t even had time to check Facebook on a regular basis as well as my trach parents’ support forum, which was once my second home.

I use my iTouch to check up on my friends’ Facebook, blogs, Twitter and forum accounts but I just don’t have the patience right now to learn to type with that thing.

For the time being, here are a few pics from the twins’ birthday party. My brother was his usual awesome self and knew to bring his party tent which he and my nephew showed up in the early am to install. Otherwise, it would have been a rather muddy mess.

So I took on baking Rainbow Cupcakes because I wanted to give myself extra stress for the sake of everyone biting into a beautiful happy rainbow.  But everyone was pleased and some were even fascinated.  Rainbow Cupcakes

I set up a table with two MoonSand kits and they kept the little kids busy most of the time. What a great idea it was!

My family and Milo (right) wondering why he has to sit in front of cupcakes if he can’t eat them…or rather, has no interest in eating them.

I spent 15 minutes on this Facebook meme, I’m using it as a blog post!

And if you know a lot about music you’ll probably figure out how old I am right away.

15 Albums

The rules: Don’t take too long to think about it -choose fifteen albums you’ve heard that will always stick with you. List the first fifteen you can recall in no more than fifteen minutes. Tag fifteen friends, including me, because I’m interested in seeing what albums my friends choose. To do this, go to your Notes tab on your profile page, paste rules in a new note, make your fifteen picks, and tag those friends you want to hear back from.

1- Blondie- Parallel Lines (my dad bought this for me on one of our Tuesday night trips to Two Guys in Garfield, NJ, my first LP ever, I was 8 years-old)
2- B-52s- B-52s (we had this on 8-track growing up and my friend Dianne and I would dance to it around our lake cabin and it would skip tracks and drive me nuts, and I later played it often in ’89 when Cosmic Thing came out)
3- Catherine Wheel- Ferment (listened to on repeat on a long plane trip, and every day that year, and more)
4- Dead Can Dance- Aion (my friend Kelly and our friendship & our love for DCD)
5- Descendants- I Don’t Want To Grow Up (went on a 2 week vacation and it was accidentally the only tape we brought to listen to the entire time)
6- Live- Throwing Copper (transitional period of life)
7- The Cult- Love (another transitional period)
8- Siouxsie & The Banshees Hyaena (this one too was transitional)
9- The Cure- Disintegration (came out when I started going to a lot of cool shows and clubs, we were all obsessed with this album)
10- Muse- Origin of Symmetry (just a trying time as well as a long drive to a sad funeral)
11- The Smiths – Meat is Murder (though not my fav)
12- Duran Duran -Rio -(when life was easy!)
13- Misfits- Walk Among Us
14- Nirvana- Nevermind
15- 10,000 Maniacs- In My Tribe

Sorry my descriptions got more brief, I ran out of time!

This is me, performing the Rubik’s Cube at above-mentioned lake house, except this was about 1998.

Love Ms. Crabass

Not an easy feat for a formerly trached child…

Quick post today. Yesterday we swam most of the day. I caught a video of us jumping in the pool with Lije and Milo. And then some sassing about starting kindergarten from Mamie.
I’m feeling a slight shell-shocked from Lije pulling the television down from the shelf about 5 minutes ago…no one was hurt!! He pulled it by the cable wires plugged into the front. It’s quite amazing no one got hurt, and that it didn’t happen much sooner. I’m happy about that…but in a Ms. Crabass mood today, not sure why.
Here’s the video, thanks for watching. Love Ms. CRABass xo

The dopplegangers’ birthday…

Eight years ago this week I was in a hospital bed 500 miles away from home. I’d gone into premature labor that was being postponed until I would contract pneumonia several days later. The miracle meds that stopped my labor had to be discontinued because of the pneumonia. On Labor Day, September 2nd 2002, I had delivered two awesome dudes three months too soon. (giving a new meaning to Labor Day)

It’s been a long, hard, bittersweet road, but worth it every time I think, see, touch, smell, breathe them! They’re the happiest boys, so even-tempered, funny and determined. I’m so in love with my guys.

I’m going to make cupcakes for their party. I need recipes…or some sort of instruction for decorating, if anyone has any suggestions. The party isn’t for another week.

It’s only getting harder to catch a decent photo of the twins these days…so I decided to use this collage to tell a story.

Love Ms. Crabass

Disgruntled. Why I hate school breaks…

So about 10 months ago when Henry started becoming more curious at around 18 months-old, he started snooping around stuff. Once a day something was broken or spilled or eaten by him.

At the end of an exhausting day, shortly after I get him out of the bath and into his clean jammies, he leaves the room for seconds and comes back reeking of a used coffee filter.  He’s got a long streak of coffee going down his chest onto his newly donned footies.  He has it all over his hands and chin, and probably tasted it as well.

I find the culprit on the boys’ bedroom floor, an paper cup.  And I know it belonged to Milo’s Friday daytime nurse, it’s her M.O..  She threw it into the garbage when she was finished of course.  But it never really is finished, now is it?  There’s always residue that pools up at the bottom.

The garbage, which in this case is usually about 12 heavily peed-in diapers, 4 used suction-catheters, 12 used pairs vinyl gloves- each with a smear of Balmex on it, approximately 40 used tissues, and a handful of empty saline bullets.  All kinds of fun stuff to play with, but Henry chooses the “empty” coffee container.  I wouldn’t even have minded pee since kids just sometimes smell of pee anyway.

I gigantically write one of my famous notes on the dry erase board, something like “Please do not throw empty drink cups in the bedroom garbage”.

But despite that effort it happens again the following Friday.  Only this time it’s in the morning when I’m on my way out the door.   So I write another large note, “Please help me out by throwing your drink cups in the kitchen garbage – the kids are getting into garbage and making a mess”.   A few weeks go by and Henry doesn’t get into the garbage so I erase the note on the dry erase board and forget all about it.

Then it happens again and I’m miffed.  I was on my way out the door that morning, but instead I was late for whatever it was because I had to wash and change Henry.  …again.  So I add to the note “…on *Fridays*”.   Yes, I put little asterisks around *Fridays* <—– just like that. So that would highlight the offender.

When I see her on the next Friday morning before school I say, “…., hey, I just wanted to make sure you saw the note on the boar—-”  …and she immediately cuts me off and says “yeah, yeah, yeah…whatever, I gotta lot of stuff ta do…blahhh blahhhhhhh, (Staten Island accent) mumble mumble…”

Really?

Now she’s an older woman, mid-fifties, a grandmother.  She’s twice widowed and is currently undergoing some issues with her living situation.  But nursing is not the type of job to drag your personal life into.  She is here to help Milo,  and helping him is helping me, by not giving me more obstacles to consume in her wake.  I was exasperated by her snotbag response as if she were a sullen teenager.  I managed to let it go because I always have bigger fish to fry.

The next Friday morning, Henry and I come downstairs. I run into the bathroom and Henry goes exploring the boys’ bedroom.  The boys and their nurses had already caught the bus. When I come out, Henry is crying and covered in fresh, warm coffee from head to toe, the entire bedroom floor is smothered in coffee.  There was an entirely full cup of coffee left at Milo’s bedside evidently. I furiously begin clean-up. While I’m running the bath I call the nursing agency.  This is clearly never ending so I need to inform the nurse manager.  I’m so done, I should have made this call months earlier.  The N.M. tells me she needs to write up a report about this problem and have “Coffee Nurse” come sign it.   Though I absolutely never want to be a snitch I’m actually fine with this.   I will not write another note, I will not speak another jilted word to her about the cups.   Not after her shit attitude towards me a week earlier.

Around 12pm I find a text message from Coffee Nurse warning me about her coffee at the bedside, that she was sorry. She’s 5  baths,  45 sheets of Costco’s version of Bounty, 6 ounces of Simple Green,  half a jug of soap, five new grey hairs, and 2 lbs. of stress-induced belly fat -TOO LATE,  for “sorry”.

When they get home from school she mentions the text and I tell her it was too late, that I’d already called the agency because I was not about to have her snap at me again.  She denies snapping at me, Elijah’s nurse backs me up.

For the last 3 weeks she’s hardly said more than a forced “hello” and “no BM, good-bye”.

So this is one of the reasons why I hate school breaks. Now I have to spend 8 hours with this crap attitude.
I love having the boys home from school  and I really need the help. But I have to sort of sell my soul to the devil for contentment at times. I have to live with these, rare, yet unfavorable, conditions of having nurses in my house daily because I need their help feeding, diapering, administering meds, bathing, etc.   I must be fair because, really, the negative is just a microscopic percentage of the time looking at the big picture. We’ve really had many more positive experiences with nursing. I wouldn’t have these particular nurses working here if they didn’t seem to genuinely care deeply for the twins. It’s just that instances such as these tend to linger like a ghost and build-up to bigger problems over time.

See, now I can trust that I can’t speak freely to Coffee Nurse, and this will forever be a problem for me while she’s here. She’s been here for three years. My kids love her. She’s got a maternal quality- sort of like an old school Italian mom who gives tough love.  So I figure since kids are excellent judges of character…

I didn’t want to pick on this one nurse in particular, it was really just an example of why I hate when there’s a school break.  How it can interfere with our day.  Quite a few things happened during this week to start my rant.  One other nurse “isn’t much of a pool person” so we didn’t go swimming on her shift- even though it was a perfect day.  I realize that it’s my fault for not just to the pool anyway, but I really don’t want to make anyone uncomfortable.

Thankfully our full-time day nurse of 6 years is extremely pliable. She’ll try anything, is meticulous clinically and loves my boys enough as to visit them on her days off.  She’s unobtrusive and accommodating to my needs.  She helps me with laundry, my other kids, shopping, cooking, etc, she never complains.   If I could just clone her five times over I’d be much happier.

Well I’m working on a post about raising kids with intense special needs and the physical and emotional health of us as their parents.  I’ll try to have that up by tomorrow…along with what is now just a chapter of our story, I had to break it down into parts.  There is just not enough time lately with school break and too many kids…and a friggin’ puppy.

Take me to the pool!

Love Ms. Crabass

Publicity Photo

I’m writing my *story* page and plan to be done by the end of this week…

…obviously it’s a long story.  8 years worth.   I’ve already written the first two years down a while back. Be back later.   Oh, here’s my “trailer”.

The christening before the flight…

Lije, pre-tracheostomy…

Love Ms. Crabass

The “elderly”, an almost-fun trip to the (awesome) park and some frustration with the blog…

A near drowning and falling from the balcony…

Really quick, everyone’s fine.

But yesterday, we went to my aunt’s for dinner and swimming. Again, with my brother and his three kids, my parents and my aunt and uncle. When we’re in the pool Milo wears a life jacket and walks around the shallow end. There’s a rope that divides it from the deep end but we don’t use it- it gives everyone splinters.
Now Henry is out of the pool doing something that is demanding everyone’s attention. I don’t remember what it was, probably watching himself pee on the concrete or choking a small animal. While I was looking at everyone who was looking at Henry, I took my eyes off Milo for enough time that he ventured into the deep end and was doing a sort of Dead Man’s Float except with a life jacket. Luckily I’m still a fast ass swimmer, I got to him in 2 seconds and pulled him out of the water. He’d swallowed a lot of water, I’m assuming. His lips were tinted blue but he was laughing. Sometimes Milo and Lije laugh at the most inappropriate times. Heck, they always laugh at the most inappropriate times. I knew he was fine when he signed he wanted to get back into the pool. And of course he headed straight for the deep end.

I thought I’d had it at that point. This was the first time I’d taken the kids on my own, without a nurse or other capable adult. My mom really wanted me to go and assured me there were to be enough adults around to help me watch the kids. I should have known better. When it comes down to reality, there is no help for me other than one of our nurses or Mr. Crabass. There’re so many little things that can go wrong with all the unpredictability of the boys’ conditions and what goes hand-in-hand with their developmental delays. Milo with his floppy tone and sensory issues….their g-tubes getting tugged and ripped out…Lije, with his tight tone, not being able to walk, but abs of steel!- that dude can scoot something fierce and fast covering several yards in just seconds.

So I’m watching Milo & Henry over at the swing set, watching out Mamie isn’t getting clobbered or teased by her boy cousins (they’re 99.9999% good to her at any given time). As I sit changing Lije into dry clothes I’m watching Milo climb up onto the balcony of the tree house- which he’s done a hundred times before. I carefully keep an eye that he doesn’t pull his leg up onto the rail. He doesn’t. But instead he places both hands on the rail and leans over to look down, and he goes right over the rail head-first down a good seven-foot drop. My mom caught him mid-fall but he still landed on his back in the gravel. I think she at least broke the fall. I ran screaming like a banshee “Milo! Milo!” over to the tree house and checked him out. He was already trying to get up so I knew he was going to be fine. I checked over his body and he came away with one scratch- one to cris-cross his surgical scar on his chest. He didn’t even cry (or laugh). He just looks confused and shocked. I think I lost a good ten years off my already shortened life.

I didn’t even take photos yesterday. Not only was my body and mind stressed pretty high, I was very hungry. I was able to have about 20 steamers and two mussels but it was unfortunate for me that my aunt had made my most-hated dish on this planet: Spaghetti Sorrentino. I absolutely hate the taste of basil. I just think I have that weird chemical issue that some people experience with cilantro (which I love!). Basil tastes like poison to me. I couldn’t even stand the smell last night because I was already annoyed by the previous events of that evening. So I had a piece of crispy italian bread with irish butter. (there’s nothing like good quality butter, especially when it’s all you’re eating).

And then no photos today, I regret. I woke to the smell of …well, I don’t want write too much detail in case you’re enjoying your lunch. Let’s just say there were two major accidents in the house today, one by animal, one by child. It was so bad my nurse went home to pick up her kick-ass carpet cleaning vacuum. Now the carpet is still wet and I’m enduring the challenge of keeping the kids behind the gate. A flimsy gate which any one of them can overtake with their pinky or a long sigh.

Then as I’m writing this post I step away to press play on Muppets in Space, I see blobs of white fluff in the hallway leading into the boys’ room…it was the marshmallow I thought Henry ate and finished earlier- but evidently was hiding on his arse. So I end up mopping the hall and the room. Not just mopping of course, scrubbing and mopping repeatedly. And now I think I’m too exhausted to bring the kids over to see Grammy and Pop for dinner. But it is a beautiful evening, and we won’t have many more of these left as summer enters it’s final chapter.

Oh, about that marshmallow I’ve been talking about, here it is:

Love Ms. Crabass

He rubs the lotion on his skin…

I have dryish skin. I have a weird thing about my feet. They need to be soft and never ever dry. I can’t use the word most people use to say “not dry” because it’s on my list of words I don’t like. (I have a running list I will post soon). So everyday before I leave the house I apply a non-scented light lotion to my feet. Then before I go to bed I wash them in the sink, if you want to visualize that.


So Henry sees me applying lotion often. He always wants some too. Yesterday, while I had Carlos The Puppy outside, Henry helped himself to my Vaseline Intensive Care, most of the bottle. Then last night he managed to reach the twins’ nurses’ bottle of Keri Lotion. He was moisturized to the max.





Yesterday, we went to the boardwalk with my brother and his kids. Lije had the most awesome hairdo in a 100 mile radius. The rides were closed because of the 47 raindrops that landed within an hour. So we went into two arcades. The first one was excessively over-crowded. Milo was having all kinds of sensory overload issues. We left. My brother wanted a beer at the boardwalk’s saloon. So we wandered around their accompanying arcade for another full hour of premier merrymaking.


Mamie spent about $5 on Skee Ball and won one miniature eraser shaped like a cake, the ones the kids are collecting these days.





Mamie and her big cousin rejoicing…





I ordered my nephews a magnificent waffle sandwich, the deluxe because I’m an incredible aunt. My niece and I split one with coffee ice cream, and Mamie got a giant bag of cotton candy in pink. Yuck. One of our nurses ordered a slice of pizza that was the size of a large beaver. I regret not getting a pic of that.
So in just two hours we had a great day. Mamie got to stay at the boardwalk with her cousins while I returned home with the boys for our nurse’s shift end.





Have a great day!


Love Ms. Crabass

I ate two plates of linguini with clam sauce and a photo from 2005’s Halloween…

So I said I took a series of these Halloween theme pics? Here’s the first one taken in 2005, the twins’ first Halloween not spent in a hospital. And Mamie’s first Halloween ever. They were little Caesars. It’s been my favorite costume so far.

I ate two bowls of my father’s awesome linguini with clam sauce, scallops and squid. We had dinner there tonight because my brother and his kids came down from Vermont today. They’ll stay until Friday and my niece will stay behind here for a week. I’m sure I’ve have some stories about this. Tonight my brother was insisting that any adult riding a bicycle without any gear has a DUI.

Well I’m kind of dog-tired. haha that’s a pun. I’m tired of this dog. He’s damned cute but it’s really just an extra chore, and I knew to expect this. But still it doesn’t change the fact that it’s still another thing to do…take him out, bring him in, feed him, rub his belly. Plus I am not used to this dog smell so I’m adding at least 16 more hand-washings to my day. That’s like 32 minutes if I was singing the Happy Birthday song. Carlos is really unusually calm and obedient, I’m impressed.

Goodnight.

Love Ms. Crabass

I have 2 minutes to introduce you to Carlos, and then some talk about Halloween costumes……

I wanted to wait a couple more years to get the kids a dog. But seeing how much Lije loves my aunt’s Jack Russells and my brother’s mutt, I got the idea that it might be cool to get a dog now. Right now, as in before the cold weather hits. I certainly wouldn’t want to train a puppy in the winter.
So here’s Senor Carlos. He’s half Wire-haired Fox Terrier, half Puggle. And a Puggle is half Beagle, half Pug. I think he looks exactly like such a mix.
He’s very sweet and super calm. I love a calm dog. My last dog, Murphy- the best dog ever- was a Brittany, but unlike a Brittany he was super chilled and indifferent towards most people and other animals. I loved, loved that about him.
Today we’re going to find one of our local dog parks after a stop at Petco- where the pets go (I have to say that every time) – where we’re going to look at the chewy, squeaky toys. I’m really hoping the novelty of a puppy doesn’t wear off too fast. I’ll try and get pictures with my real camera.





Also, today is the twinkies last day of school for the summer. That signals the end of summer and time to consider Halloween costumes. (I have been so gung-ho on portraying Gilligan’s Island for years now. Milo must be Gilligan and Lije, the Skipper.   We’ll see. I know at this age they love being their own thing.
Here is one photo of the series of the years I had a theme pre-Henry. I think this was the second year, they were, obviously, cave kids. I’ll get around to posting the other classics.





This year has gone way too fast and I dig that in a way. Because of the years between babies I spent in the house, depressed and anxiety-ridden, I feel like this is the first day of the rest of my life.


Love Ms. Crabass

I just gave my toddler a giant marshmallow to eat so I can write this post about nothing…

I don’t remember what we did Friday. Oh yes, I dropped my MIL off at the train for her trip back home to Tallahassee. Mamie (not really quite her name) cried for 20 minutes straight, I felt sorry for her because she knows she won’t see her paternal grandma for maybe another year or two.


Then we took a trip to Wegman’s, our favorite supermarket. When I say “we” I will usually mean my mother (Grammy), Mamie and myself…and if we absolutely have to, baby Henry. In this case Henry was included in our trip to “Weggie’s” for lunch (sushi) which followed with a short trip to the park before heading home to meet the short bus.





This park is good for pleasing me in the sense that we’re usually alone, if not, almost alone. It’s on the water with a spectacular view which makes it often windy in the summer. The bad part about the park is it’s on the water. No physical barrier between the jungle-gym and the beach. Except the 100 yard head start Henry has before I can catch him, which seems to be good enough notice for me to start chasing him before he reaches the other side of the river. And the sand. The sand is dirty. Not like the sand on the other side of the inlet where the ocean is. Just disgusting dark brown, clumpy sand with miscellaneous man-made debris.  





Friday was uneventful, but not Saturday. We took the kids to Clark’s to get shoes for the new school year. Turns out, my 8 year-old twins’ feet are smaller than their 5 year-old sister’s. She’s a US12, Milo’s an 11 while Lige is just a 9.5. I am assuming that must be because he doesn’t walk…? Lige’s feet are the best, they’re always kissable and soft- never rough from walking on the ground, or smelly like my other kids’ feet. There’re certainly advantages to having a child with moderately-severe cerebral palsy. Another is, he can’t always escape so fast when I’m kissing and squeezing him.


Oh, about the shoe shopping, it didn’t go well at all. Henry hadn’t had his nap and he was crazed. He was getting the twins all worked up and there was no chance of us *not* being that family. I had my mom and our nurse with us, as well as the 4 kids. You’d think with the twins strapped in their wheelchairs and Mamie being her typically well-behaved self, that the 3 of us adults could keep a handle on Henry. Not so. Somehow he left the store without any of us seeing.  
A woman, who’d been watching us this entire time, with empathy and kindness, even trying to crack some exhausted-parent-jokes, had witnessed Henry split. The next thing I saw was her announcing he’d left as she ran out the door and caught him running towards the parking lot. O.m.g. I was embarrassed, all eyes were on me, but more so annoyed that my two adult helpers were not being reliable as I was trying to fit and choose shoes for my four kids.  
Of course, it really is ultimately my responsibility, and certainly not the twins’ nurse’s job…but my mom…well, she’s older now and gets distracted easily. I don’t know. It’s basically just frustrating to go out with all these guys at one time.  I admit it, I don’t have a comfortable grip at this stage.


Oh cool, Henry didn’t even eat the marshmallow…they’re Mamie’s thing. I don’t do marshmallows either, Henry.





Love Ms. Crabass

Wholesale shopping and stopping to feed the birds in the city-by-the-sea……

Paternal grandma was visiting from Florida this week. Yesterday was her last full day here. So after my spoiled trip to Costco- spoiled because I don’t care for “shopping” with Mr. Crabass at all – he takes the long ass way through the aisles to get only what he needs but won’t stop to look at anything the rest of us find interesting – we took Grandma over to the boardwalk in Asbury Park. Not being from New Jersey, I don’t think she’s ever been to Asbury before this but was able to appreciate the fallen beach resort for it’s fascinating, bittersweet history and current struggle for it’s rebirth.

Had I been told previously that our trip there was mainly to the boardwalk candy store for salt water taffy I would have warned her the price per pound is 8 times the amount one can get the same box of taffy 6 blocks in from shore at the Foodtown. (which I knew for certain she’d be interested in knowing!) But that’s one of the oddball traits of that side of the family. Plans are whispered and a sudden trip takes place with a vague announcement of destination, usually leaving it’s victims unprepared- in this particular case I didn’t know to bring my camera as I thought we were just going to Costco. So hence the 2 megapixel cell phone quality photos.

We walked past the murals and went into a few shops but really only had about 30 minutes before heading home to meet the Twinkies’ school bus. But I must say, one of my favorite things is being at the beach on a cloudy, storm-dangling kind of day.

Then my parents gave Grandma a farewell dinner last night, of scallop and shrimp scampi on top of linguini with my famous (I made it twice) Frozen Margarita Pie. Lige tore apart the magazines, Milo perpetually signed his current movie obsession, Paulie…which we don’t own, it happens to come on HBO whenever we’re at the ‘rents house. But he settled on Sleeping Beauty in the end.

The inspiration for my recipe came off the lid of the Oikos greek yogurt, but this is what I’ve done:

Margarita Pie

1 graham cracker pie crust
8 oz light cream cheese
1 cup vanilla greek yogurt
4 tbs sugar
a little less than 1/4 cup liquid margarita mixer
3 tablespoons fresh lime juice (the 2nd time I used Nellie and Joe’s Key Lime Juice which was extra tart, which I like)

I mixed the last 5 ingredients in my Vitamix on Var 6. Poured into pie crust and froze for a few hours. Topped with whipped cream shortly before serving.

Everyone claims they love it, I’m still not sure if they’re just being supportive.

Love Ms. Crabass

14 Days Later…

It’s been quite a busy summer. I know, everyone’s summer is busy. But mine hasn’t been this busy, in a fun way, in 8 years. The boys having their trachs removed has opened a lot of doors for opportunity. Swimming (that’s Milo in the pool above), beach, boardwalk, Pop & Grammy’s house, the mall, the outlets, the supermarket, the park- when the air quality is safe. I’ve never taken all 4 kids anywhere by myself.
Now, I can take them a few places by myself as long as I know I’m going somewhere where I have help and an extra set of eyes. Such as my parents’ house. Lije will dart for the nearest bookcase and start flipping pages at sonic speed, tearing a few innocent bystanders out. This is fine as long as it’s not a book you actually want all the pages to.
Milo, will run to the closest television. He’ll already have a movie in mind and sign it an inch from your face until you get your arse up and put that particular movie in the player. That won’t last long as he really only enjoys the opening scene and the closing credits of mostly every film. But oddly enough he’ll watch any movie that’s on HBO at the moment, even if he has the DVD, it’s more exciting to watch it spontaneously. And I totally get that. As a kid I remember freaking out on hearing the first note of any Duran Duran or Culture Club song that came on the radio. It sounded so much better than when playing it purposefully on my cassette player.

So it happens to be raining today, all day supposedly. Which brings me back here to blog on my sad, lonely blog with my 5 followers. Hi followers! I know you guys think I suck at blogging. It’s ok, you all know I hate winter with a fiery fervor. I’ll be seeking the comfort of my nylon, synthetic something-or-other ergonomically-correct computer chair from the first day of the last leaf falling. I only come out when there’s leaves on the trees, is what I’m trying to say.

Up there’s a pic of Lije eating lunch apres swimming. I really need to get my hands on that water-proof camera we apparently own. Do they make those in digital nowadays? I need one of those. I *love* seeing my baby boys in the water, up to their chins! I can’t tell you how long I’ve dreamed of this day.

I think there’s only a few days left of school for the summer session. I’ll be planning the Twinkies’ 8th birthday party. While I’m not much of a party planner these days, I’d really like to do something nice for their first birthday sans tracheostomy. I’m throwing around having a party on the beach but it makes me too nervous with the unpredictable weather in the beginning of September, our northeaster season.

Any ideas? I am not into having it at a “place”. Such as a Chuck E. Cheese’s or other petri dishes. I’d like to keep it ungimmicky. It really just ends up being my brothers’ families and their teenage kids, my 3 BFFs and their families, a friend with her son from school…if I was really brave I’d invite the two moms I like at school, their sons are autistic. Milo’s in the autism program because he shares a lot of traits due to his extreme prematurity. But Milo’s very social and is never aggressive. He likes to comfort the kids who are having behaviors- which can get him hurt one day. If Milo could talk he’d say that’s the price you pay for being awesome.

Ok, have to go sit out in the rain with everyone for whatever reason they want to…

Love Ms. Crabass